Joy Abundant

The past month has been unlike any I have ever experienced. I guess it's been about six weeks actually. Last time I posted I was feeling devastated by the ship being evacuated due to COVID and being left behind feeling abandoned. God promised me that it would be okay and that He'd be with me through it, and obviously he was.

Village shenanigans on my birthday!

It's funny how dramatic things seem while we're in them. When realistically, in the grand scheme of your life, six weeks is a VERY short amount of time. Even if you've been in quarantine for three months now, if you look upon your entire life, it's a pretty small season (even if it does feel like it's been an eternity). Anyway that's a bit preachy so I'm sorry, but its also true. But I'll get on with it.

I spent six weeks living on the ship with just five other people. Two speak limited English and one worked night shift so I rarely saw him, and so I basically hung out with the other two (Gillian and Clament, PNG Nationals), for the whole time. It had its ups and downs for sure, but ultimately I came out the other side with two really solid friendships, bonded by this weird experience that none of us has ever had with anyone else. Maybe we'll get matching tattoos, idk. 

I picked up a TON of hobbies in this season, but I also was able to spend a lot of time with the Lord, listening to His voice and allowing Him to heal my heart. It wasn't easy; some days were the loneliest I've ever experienced. I am so grateful to those of you who reached out to check in with me, and to just encourage my heart during this time. It made a huge difference.

We had a big cookout, where they made "mumu"

One thing that God was really challenging me with over the past few weeks was where is my joy rooted? I found myself feeling so drained and depressed and serious all the time, and I asked God, what the heck is going on? I'm fun! I used to be the life of the party, goofing off and joining in with every shenanigan, and now I can't even bring myself to laugh at somebody else's quip. 

Me wondering how I'm gonna eat this massive plate they served me

I began to understand that my joy has been rooted in my circumstances. In what I have to look forward to, the hope of plans being made, and the excitement of what's around me. In this season of having all of that taken away from me, I felt like there was nothing to be joyful about. God began to remind me that my joy needs to be rooted in Him and what he's done for me. Jesus died for me! He loves me, and I get to spend eternity with him! That is something to get butterflies in the stomach, can't sleep 'cause I'm too excited over! I think so often we forget that, and all we see is the crap raining down around us. No matter how bad life gets, it pales in comparison to the goodness that has already been promised to us in eternity.

Trying betelnut for the first time....my face is how it tastes

In a sermon I recently listened to from my home church, the pastor was talking about how Jonah was unexpectedly swallowed up by a fish and had 3 days with nothing to do but hang out with the Lord. He compared this quarantine season to being inside the fish, and challenged us with "how are you going to walk out of this season?" For me, I want to walk out of this season full of optimism and faith for the future, and I want to have excitement in Christ. I want to live undignified, and in genuine joy of what Christ has done for me. It's definitely been easier to talk than to walk this attitude, but God is helping me get better day by day. 

I managed to get our new eye surgery container delivered to the ship!

It’s looking like our engineer will be able to return to the ship to finish the engine rebuild very soon! It's very exciting that things are moving forward and God is being so faithful, and hopefully the engines will be complete by the end of July!

Celebrating Clament's birthday aboard the ship

As for me? Despite desperately wanting to do nursing care, I still feel that God has called me to stay on board the ship until the engine rebuild is complete. Once it finishes, I may have some different opportunities, but prayer for discernment and open doors would be much appreciated.

Swimming in the pool at the hotel during our much-needed stay-cation