Perserverance

    What does it mean to persevere? I’ve been pondering on that a lot lately. I think often, we consider it to mean holding on, white knuckled, doing everything we can to stay with something, no matter how painful it is: just get through it. I know I’ve been guilty of that. My 2021 experience of living on the YWAM Liberty in Papua New Guinea has been exactly that. It has not lived up to any of my expectations, and has basically been exactly the same experience as last year, except with maybe a bit of a healthier environment. Everything I feared would happen before I came is exactly what has happened, and now I’m stuck here and trying to reconcile that. I traveled to PNG because I felt the Lord prompting me to do so. I was afraid I would get stuck on the ship not going anywhere and filling all the admin roles, and had to trust that God had a bigger plan and was going to come through and I’d get to do some nursing. Yet here I am, living out my greatest fear. 

Is God still faithful even when things I thought he promised don’t come to pass? You find yourself in a situation you were trying desperately to avoid, yet you have no control over the fact that you’re now there, and you can’t get out. There’s days when I feel so stuck, so lonely and abandoned. I’m still trudging on and God’s promises still haven’t come to pass. Does that mean he’s not faithful?

Absolutely not. This is the hallmark of faith: staying obedient through the trials, even though you haven’t experienced the breakthrough. Perseverance isn't some plea to just “get through it”, true perseverance is living in the fullness of God’s grace, even when it’s dark outside. Experiencing God’s grace means living with abundant joy that doesn’t make sense! A hope that seems silly, and a love that covers all offences. 

God has been telling me since I got here, “I never waste a season”, and that he wants to teach me and grow me during this time. I’ve been living with an attitude of self pity and entitlement, like how dare God’s promises not come in my timing and look exactly how I want?? I’ve been looking forward to the season I want to be in, and not embracing the season I’m currently in, just because it’s hard and I’d rather be somewhere else. I’ve been giving in to the fear that the Lord won’t come through, that the problems are too big, and I don’t want to hurt anymore. In 2 Chronicles 20:12 it says “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you”. I have no idea what to do or what’s going to happen, but I know that my God is the God who has done countless miracles in my life, and if I would just step out of my comfort zone just one more time, I will see his power manifest. I will see the Holy Spirit show up to fight my battles for me. All I have to do is show up!

Perseverance is not hiding in a trench and holding on, staying alive until you think the war is over; it is standing up, engaging the enemy, taking ground, and continuing to take ground until there is no more ground to take! 

I was thinking about my legacy a while back, and thinking “what will people think of when they think of me?”, and the Lord said to me “people will remember that you didn’t give up when things got hard.” I think that’s a pretty good legacy, and I want to live up to it. I don’t want to be known for cowering in a corner while bullets fly around me. I want to be leading the charge into enemy territory, and staying hopeful when it seems like everything is hopeless.

So how about you? What does it look like for you to persevere well?